How to Prepare a Preschooler for Immunisations

Immunisations. Does anyone enjoy them? No. The answer is no. I've talked before about my feeling on immunisations before and having dealt with an ill newborn, I'll always take the required steps to protect my boys from preventable illnesses. And like a lot of parenting gigs, I think immunisations is just as unpleasant (if not more) for the parents as it is for the wee ones. In fact, I remember texting my Aunty whilst in the doctors waiting area before John's first immunisations; at the time my cousin was fighting cancer (all good now though!) and saying how amazed I was by her strength as a mother, going through what she was whilst I was a nervous wreck over the prospect of a couple of jags! But we do the best by our children regardless of how unpleasant it can be.

The thing with taking a preschooler for their immunisations is that it's very different than taking a newborn, or even a toddler. By age 3, most kids are pretty savvy and can tell when something's up. And no parent wants to be consoling a distraught preschooler when they are already feeling illogical guilt about bringing their wee one for their immunisations already. So, how do you prepare a preschooler for immunisations?

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Honesty is the best policy.
I was surprised to find out just how many people lie tip-toe around the truth to their kids about immunisations. In fact, one of my earliest childhood memories is of having my own immunisations, with the nurse & my Mum trying to convince me that the sugar cube with the polio drops on was, "just like what I have on my Weetabix." Knowing that I myself would like to know in advance if I was going to experience something new & potentially upsetting, it was important that I let John in on the matter too. On the day I also starting using the word, "jag," as soon as we met the nurse so she too could be aware that John knew what was going on and we asked that she talk him through everything she was doing.

Practice makes perfect.
In my day, Calpol came with a spoon; now though, you get a handy little syringe to make the art of medicine-giving all the more easy. And that little syringe can make preparing for immunisations a fun game. Let your wee one practice on themselves & on you, explaining that they'll get similar at the doctors but it'll give them a bit of scratch when they get it there. You could even opt for a toy doctors set but I find the Calpol syringe to be a little closer to the real deal.

Help them understand.
For John, the moment of clarity came when he realised that getting his immunisations were just like his Aunty Holly's daily insulin jags. However, I know not everyone will have a diabetic relative to make comparisons with but Dr Ranj from Get Well Soon does a great job of explaining why exactly immunisations are important and helps wee ones understand that they're simply an important medicine to stop them getting ill, just like Aunty Holly's insulin does for her!

Use positive words.
We referred to them as, "jags," for no other reason that it was easier for John to say (& in turn ask about) than, "immunisations." We also made a point of avoiding words like 'sore' & 'painful', instead explaining them as a 'scratch' that might 'nip' a little. I also made a the choice to tell John he 'might get a bit upset' and if he 'needed to cry that was ok' but that 'being a scratch I was sure he'd be absolutely fine'. I'd also recommend keeping your own feelings under wraps, although I know this can be pretty hard; if your wee ones senses you're own apprehension, they too will become nervous. Keep it cool, positive and use words they can understand!

Let them see.
Not every wee one has an Aunty Holly who they'll regularly see injecting insulin but if possible, let your wee one see someone being injected beforehand. Be it a routine flu vaccine for yourself or even a documentary of some sort (just be sure to check the reaction beforehand - nothing like someone freaking out over an injection to make a wee one panic at the very thought!). Similar to my tips on potty training, making something seem normal will do wonders for how well your wee ones handles it.

End on a high.
Regardless of how your wee one gets on with their immunisations, make sure you end the experience on a high. Even if they have a meltdown, tell them they were exceptionally brave and that you're proud of them. Rewards are always nice too and it doesn't need to mean a trip to the toy shop; for John it was getting to choose a magazine and a Kinder Egg. Like I say, one of my earliest memories is from my preschool immunisations so you want to make sure that even if it has been a bit traumatic, that your wee one has at least some positive feeling around the event, as well as not having a fear of going back to the doctors ever again!

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Have you gone through preschooler immunisations? What are your top tips to prepare them?

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How To Help a Little One with the Cold

Originally published on 6th September 2013. Last updated 1st May 2015.

We've had another week filled with sniffles, uncontrollable coughing & regular night wakings. Yup, you guessed it, we're a house choked with the cold. We're no stranger to this unwelcome house guest; with both boys in nursery we've always got one bug or another brought home on an almost fortnightly basis. We've all become experts in dealing with runny noses in this household! But there's nothing worse than having a less than 100% wee one on your hands and feeling like you just cant help. So here are my top tips for helping your little one get through this miserable time.

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Steam up your bathroom.
In the same way a steamy atmosphere is a god-send for us grown-ups when we're all choked up, it works just as well for wee ones. When the boys were smaller, I'd take them into the bathroom to breastfeed. The steam in the air made feeding a lot more comfortable for them & prevented the pulling away, gasping-for-air scenario. Now though, I'll pop the shower on for 10 minutes before I run their bath to get things real steamy.

Top tip: Just be sure to change your wee ones clothes after sitting in steam: leaving them in damp clothes won't be comfortable, nor help with the getting-better process.

Wipe their nose & apply a barrier cream.
Yes, it'll feel like you're wiping up snot every 10 minutes, but it really does pay to keep your wee ones nose clean. The brief mump & moan as you mop up the offending snot from a runny nose is much easier to deal with than the dried up snot that takes a good wrestle to remove. Also, to make them more comfortable & ease the nose cleaning process, apply of barrier cream across your child's top lip.

Top tip: Vaseline is good but I find Lansinoh is unbeatable in healing sore skin & removing redness.

Clear their nose.
Can you imagine being filled with snot and not being able to physically blow your nose? Me neither but it is the uncomfortable reality for wee ones. So if they'll let you, try and help your child in clearing their nose for them. My best tried & tested method was using a nasal aspirator! I'm the first to admit that its not the nicest of things & always ended in a vocal protest from the boys but the difference in them following a shot of the 'snot sucker' was obvious. Now they can run away, we're unable to use this method but if I can still get some saline nasal drops to help soften the offending nostril-blockers, it'll help them breathe a little easier.

Vapour rub them up.
Unfortunately, due to recent changes in the law, there isn't a great range of cold & flu medicines for children on the market. One safe product though is vapour rubs (from 3 months old). Smothered over the chest & back, with loose pyjamas on, it's a full-proof way to help your little ones breathe a little easier. Another top tip for helping a troublesome cough is to apply some vapour rub to your child's feet and pop a pair of socks on - don't ask me how it works, all I know is that it does!

Top tip: I like the Snufflebabe range as it's gentler than the adult-aimed vapour rubs.

Prop up their mattress.
Roll up a blanket or a towel and slip under it under your little ones mattress. Similar to how you'd sleep with an extra pillow to help ease congestion and coughing, it'll make your child a lot more comfortable and help assist in sleeping longer stretches through the night.

Lots & lots of cuddles.
Your wee one is bound to be a bit clingier than usual. Instead of complaining that the housework has to be put on hold, enjoy it! As they grow, they'll become more & more independent, making these cuddly moments less frequent, so enjoy it while you can. Plus they're less likely to try & run away from you! Win-win!

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What are your top tips for helping a little one who's all choked up?

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How To Explain Death to a 3 Year Old

This parenting gig is tough. You can read all the books, ask everyone you know for advice and yet, there will still be times when you're completely stumped with no idea how to handle a situation. And of course, it's sod's law that it'll be a situation where you're barely coping yourself too.

My Papa died a couple of weeks ago. It's shit. We knew it was coming but it doesn't make it any easier. He'd been living with Alzheimer's for a while now and had been admitted to a Community Hospital for a month or so, after things had quickly progressed leaving our family struggling to care for him. I was at work a couple of weeks back when my Mum text me to say he'd been transferred to the Infirmary hospital with pneumonia and that it wasn't looking good. On the 4th April 2015, he passed away. Having visited him just the week before, it was hard to take in. But despite him not really knowing who I was or that I'd even been to visit, I was glad I'd seen him; both before he'd passed but also before his condition had worsened.

Whilst only just accepting the news myself, I was then faced with a dilemma... How do you tell a 3 year old who has been asking to see his Papa Moose for weeks now; that you've already invested time in telling him that, "Papa Moose's not very well and in a hospital," but that it's ok because, "although you can't visit him there, you'll be able to see him when he goes to a new hospital,"; that in actual fact, he's not going to get to see him ever again? Aside from a old guinea pig we lost when he was barely 2 years old, this would be the first time John had ever encountered death. And it was up to me to not only break the news but to also help shape his perception of death as a whole.

Like with most things, I took to the internet for advice and couldn't really find any definitive words of wisdom, so I decided to share my own experience & advice on the subject for those who may find they need it too. I won't deny that I was hesitant in posting this, due to the sensitive nature but I hope it'll at least help someone who is stuck & needing a helping hand in a rubbish set of circumstances.

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Prepare them (if possible).
The very nature of death is that it's unpredictable, so this isn't always possible, although if you have the opportunity to prepare your wee one for what's going to happen, then do so. In our case it was as simple as explaining to John that his Papa Moose was at the hospital, first due to his Alzheimer's (at which point was the Community Hospital for respite) and then when he was taken in due to pneumonia. We didn't take him to visit as I know John wouldn't cope well in this environment but by simply explaining that Papa Moose wasn't well at that he was in the hospital, it meant John could be aware of him not being well.

Choose your moment.
Wait until you're somewhere quiet, able to talk without interruptions (from younger siblings for example - I talked to John once David was in bed) and are in a reasonable state of mind yourself. Avoid times when your wee one is tired, grumpy or otherwise distracted.

Keep is simple.
When I told John about his Papa Moose, the words were along the lines of, "Remember how Papa Moose was in the hospital? Well he was very old and the doctors couldn't make him better when he became sick. Papa Moose died this morning so we won't be able to see him again. We can still love him though and talk about him whenever you want." The thing about 3 year old's is that they're pretty understanding & accepting of what you tell them, so by getting straight to the point, you can tell them what they need to know but also leave the topic open for any questions they may have surrounding it. You know your wee one & what they're capable of understanding; try and tailor it to that.

Be honest with your beliefs.
And don't tell them things that you don't believe. I'm not religious and I'm sceptical about any kind of afterlife. For this reason, it was important for me not to start telling John that his Papa was in Heaven or that he'd "gone to a better place," especially when I'm not sure that I believe it myself. That being said, if these are your beliefs then this is a good opportunity to explain them also.

Avoid using the term, "gone to sleep."
Like I say, 3 year old's are pretty understanding & accepting, for this reason, honesty is best. If you tell them their loved one has gone to sleep, they're likely to accept this at the time but in the long run it can lead to two things: Thinking their loved one will one day wake up and be fine again, or a fear of going to sleep (or of other people going to sleep, such as you) due to a fear of never waking up.

Be ready for questions.
From a simple clarification of what you're telling them, to asking for reassurance that they'll still be able to see other loved ones (in our case, John's Granny Moose). And be ready for them to be asked at any time, even days after the initial conversation. Some may be unexpected also but remember to be honest; if you don't know the answers, tell them that and explain that you'll try and find out - this can give you a bit of time to consider your answers if you're unsure, just be sure not to bury the question under the rug & go back to it when you've figured it out.

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Finally, not so much a tip but important nonetheless; remember to grieve yourself. It's your call whether you do this in front of your wee one or in your own time but it's really important to grieve in the way that best suits yourself. As parents we quickly perfect our brave-face and forget to deal with our emotions the way we need to. But your needs are important too! And if you're reading this whilst looking for answers, sorry for you loss. ❤

Have you had to explain death to your wee ones? Have you any further tips or advice?

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How To Make Having a Baby Less Expensive

Originally published on 21st May 2013. Last updated 17th April 2015.

Babies... They cost a bomb. Why is it people forget to mention that part when you first decide to have that little bundle of joy? But fear not, there is hope for your bank balance yet. Whether you're currently expecting a new arrival to your lives & home (in which case, congrats!), or you're already the proud owner of a expensive little bundle, here's my top tips for cutting back on the spending when you think your finances are otherwise doomed!

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Buy baby clothes second hand.
The sad fact is, babies don't stay small for long, especially in their first year of life. You'll find that every couple of months you'll be replacing their wardrobe with the next size of clothes - this makes buying baby clothes second hand a great idea. You'll find a lot of the clothes you buy can be hardly (if ever) worn due to the simple fact that one size of clothing will only last a baby few months maximum.
The variety of places to buy second hand baby clothes are endless. Jack & Jill Markets & NCT Nearly New Sales, eBay, Gumtree, selling forums on baby community websites (my favourite is The Selling Place on Baby Centre), charity shops... All are a goldmine for finding bargains on threads for your little ones. And to really save your pennies, sell on the clothes when you're finished!

Top tip: Be aware of postage costs when purchasing online. Recent price hikes with the Royal Mail mean eBay bargains can turn out to be more expensive than first thought, simply to do with the additional postage fees.)

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Borrowing from family & friends.
If you have friends and family with their own little ones, the easiest way to save even more on clothes - amongst other baby necessities - is to ask for or accept hand-me-downs. And unless your family is a bit of a Scrooge, they'll usually give you items for free; there's no better bargain than that! Just be sure to return the favour to your generous loved ones when you're finished with your own baby bits & pieces, and don't pass on large objects (cots, prams) to other people without checking with the original owner first.

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Consider longevity & resale value.
When choosing our pram, there was two main competitors; the Bugaboo Bee & the Silver Cross 3D. In terms of cost, the Silver Cross was a clear winner, with the Bugaboo coming in at nearly double the price. However I did a bit of research and found that the Bugaboo came with rave reviews - it was a long-term use pram due to it's light, pushchair nature, it's ability to 'grow' with your baby, and it held a good resale value. The Silver Cross however, the reviews weren't so great, with most people admitting they ended up replacing their pram with an alternative, lighter model at some stage or another (which meant more additional cost), and the resale value was poor.
We opted for the Bugaboo knowing it was built to last and we'd get our money worth. In the end we sold it on for a good price, after it had first served it's purpose with both boys without failing on us even once.

Top tip: For an even better deal, do your research and buy second hand.

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Choose to breastfeed & baby-led wean.
I'd love to say my choice to breastfeed was based on wanting to provide the boys with the best possible start in life, but to be perfectly honest, that's a complete lie - I chose to breastfeed because it's free & any additional benefits was a bonus. To me, it doesn't make sense to spend £40+ a month on formula milk when my body can produce a more superior version for nothing. Cost was also a contributing factor in choosing to follow Baby-led Weaning, as your baby eats what you eat, without the extra jars of purée and rusk biscuits, so it incurs no too little additional cost.

Top tip: Even if you can't breastfeed, why not consider using donor milk? There's many ladies out their happy to offer up their freezers full of breast milk for babies in need and most won't expect anything but thanks in return.

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Consider using cloth nappies. It might seem like a step back in time but cloth nappies are making a come back. The intital outlay can be expensive, with nappies ranging from £5 to £20+ each but after you've got a good collection of nappies (roughly 24 for full time use), in the long term you'll save yourself at least £1000 per baby, in comparison to using disposable nappies. Not to mention your carbon footprint and that cloth is overall better for your little ones bottom. And like baby clothes, cloth nappies can be bought second hand and sold on when you're finished.
Kitty Kins is a great website to help you get to grips with the world of cloth.

Top tip: Why not buy a few pre-loved nappies before investing in a whole supply of cloth. This means you can try a few different brands and decide whether cloth is for you, without spending as much upfront. And if you don't get on with them, you can sell them on. I like eBay & Babycentre Pre-loved Cloth board for second hand nappy bargains.)

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Take advantage of your local Library & Toy Library.
In an ideal world, the boys would have a bookcase full of different stories and styles of books, but in reality, books are expensive. I take John & David to our local library every few weeks to see what they have to offer. It's also a fantastic way to assess how much they like a particular book before buying a copy for ourselves, saving us from purchasing hundreds and one books that don't hold their attention.
Our library also hosts a weekly toy library where you can go play with & borrow toys. Again, great for try-before-you-buy but also to let little ones have a bit of variety in their play without the expensive price tag.

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Join baby clubs.
You'll find the majority of major supermarkets and chemists have some form of Baby Club offering freebies, advice & money off vouchers. Aside from the barrage of emails & junk mail, you can get yourself some good bits & pieces from joining a Baby Club, from free gifts, too money off vouchers. Some to look out for are Bounty, Boots Parenting Club, various supermarkets and even some baby brands. It can be a great way to test out products without paying full price for them, so less money wasted on products you're not a fan of and more money saved on those you do like.

Top tip: To avoid excessive junk mail, set up a separate email address to join Baby Clubs.

What are your top tips for saving money with a baby in your life?

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How To Sell Your Used Baby Items

Originally published on 29th August 2013. Last updated 10th April 2015.

Buggies, cots, bouncy chairs. Not to mention the clothes, toys & various other necessities useless accessories. Babies are big business! I've mentioned before how easy it can be to save money when dealing with a new addition by simply investing in second hand items instead of the brand-new but when you're done with your own baby items, how do you go about making some money back from them? Here's my guide on selling baby items, from the big investments to the small expenditures.

First you need to ask yourself, what am I selling? The most important part in making a profit is targeting the right audience, in the right place.

Clothes.
• Start by separating them into brands. Baby clothes from John Lewis, Next & Gap all tend to hold a good resale value. For this reason they're ideal for selling as individual items on eBay. Start your auction at 99p to attract attention (& look at similar listings for an expected final price). Just be cautious with your postage costs - too high and you'll put people off, too low and you'll end up making up the expense from what you sell the item for. A second class small package should be sufficient at £2.80 but if you're unsure use the Royal Mails postage price finder. It's also worth reading up on eBay seller fees as these seem to be ever-changing & ever-increasing; for the best success, aim to sell on weekends when they're offering Free Listings.

Top tip: For packaging, I buy a roll of bubble wrap and parcel paper from the Pound Shop. This will package more items economically rather than buying separate padded envelopes.

Top tip: Aim for your items to end on a Sunday evening, as this is the time that most people will have time to enter bidding wars or make impulse purchases. 

• You've no doubt got loads of sleepsuits, vests & cheaper outfits to sell as well. Fear not, people want these too! I find the best bet for these items is to bundle them up - either into age ranges (new born, 0-3 months 1-2 years...), item types (vests, sleepsuits, trousers...) or store brands and then sell them as a bundle. I think 10 items a bundle is a reasonable amount and depending on the condition of your items you can expect to make at least £5 a bundle. However due to postage costs, you are better targeting these bundles through Gumtree, local Facebook selling pages and even Baby Forum selling groups. This allows people to arrange collection as opposed to paying postage which usually ends up higher than that of the item they're buying.

Top Tip: It's worth researching courier costs too if you wish to open your items to a larger audience - this will undoubtedly work out cheaper than using the Royal Mail but it does involve more work on your part.

• • •

Medium Items (eg. Bumbos, Jumperoos...).
• These items are always in high demand due to the high costs of buying new, teamed with the fact they only receive a few months worth of use. They're best collected by the buyer for the obvious reason of postage costs, however this can limit your potential market a little. Again local selling sites such as Gumtree, Facebook selling pages, etc...are ideal but eBay is also good for giving the option of local pickup (although if you're in a remote area the demand might not be as high). Again giving the option of courier can open up your market to a larger audience.
• The other option is to sell person-to-person. Nearly-new baby sales (eg. NCT, Jack & Jill...) are perfect for a guaranteed sale but you need to have enough items to make it worth your while in stallholders costs. Good old fashioned car boot sales are another good option if your stuck for baby items but also have other items you wish to sell.

Top tip: You can also try placing a good old fashioned ad in the selling newspapers.

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Big Items (prams, cots...).
• Like medium sized items, you ideally want the buyer to come collect these items from you. Again Gumtree, Facebook selling pages and eBay (for local pickup) are your obvious options. But some organised selling groups (eg. Jack & Jill) have the option to sell items through their websites, so why not take advantage of their already massive following?
• It's also worth considering eBay with the option of courier the item if your item is in high demand (eg. Bugabooo & iCandy buggies, Stokke high chairs...). These items are always desirable and people are usually willing to pay that bit extra if its for a good deal on an otherwise expensive item.

Top Tip: If you can, offer for you to deliver items for an additional cost to the buyer. Not everyone has a car or the ability to collect big items. Just be sure to cover your petrol costs.

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Nursery Decorations & Accessories.
• eBay is your best bet for these items, as long as you keep your descriptions clear & detailed, in particular using a descriptive title, teamed with a clear photo. We spent a small fortune kitting our nursery out in one of Mothercare's ranges and broke-even (if not even making a profit) selling on the items when we were finished with them. Like clothes, use a low starting bid, carefully consider postage costs and offer the option to combine postage on multiple purchases - this will encourage people to buy your entire range!

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Used Toys.
• Unless they're in immaculate condition, the best place for these is in fact the charity shop, or perhaps donated to your local Toy Library. Toys are a lot cheaper these days so unless they're in great condition you'll struggle to sell them. If you do have some toys worth selling, eBay is a good option but be wary of postage costs & seller fees as not to leave yourself short.
• Another option is to bundle your toys into character bundles (eg. Fireman Sam, Disney Princess...) and try your luck on your local Facebook selling page or Baby Forum selling page.

Top Tip: If you're taking part in a Nearly-new Baby Sale then be sure to include your toys as there's always wandering children who'll fall in love with second hand toys (much to their parents dismay!).

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Do you buy or sell used baby items? Care you share any of your own tips?

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