Those Eyes.

You’re forever watching me.

When I wake up in the morning you’re there; cooing & laughing, reaching through the bars on your cot, waiting impatiently for me to pick you up so we can start the day. Once you see my eyes open, returning your longing gaze, there’s no chance of you having 5 more minutes.

You’re smile when we greet “baby in the mirror” each morning is enchanting; not only do you grin at your own reflection but you stare at mine with deep content, whilst smudging your teeny tiny finger prints over the glass. I should really clean that glass sometime, but not today. Today I’ll continue to smile each time I pass the mirror and I’m reminded of you.

You sit at my feet and protest whenever I walk away from you. You’re not a clingy baby but you hate seeing me walk away. I promise you this; I’ll always come back. And when I do come back, your eyes instantly forgive me for the brief abandonment; arms out, smile wide, waiting for me to scoop you up, which I do with very little persuasion.

You are becoming more and more independent. Sitting perfectly unassisted, rolling and pivoting in all directions. You still occasionally fall and bump your head, and when you do the tears start; I hate seeing tears come from your eyes, my heart aches - for what seems like a lifetime - waiting for the smile in those eyes to return, which is usually achieved from a cuddle, a breastfeed or throw into the air. It’s reassuring to know I can help take your hardships away.

You love being out and about. You sit in your buggy, blowing raspberries and shouting at passers-by. Everyone that looks into the buggy at you is graced with a smile and you’re forever receiving compliments on how alert and interactive you are. Oh, and they all say you’ve got beautiful, big eyes too. "Just like his Mummy", they tell me.

You’re a fantastic sleeper, part of which I think is down to the fact your eyes show when you’re tired before you even realise you are yourself. You rub them whilst pulling on your ears, at which point it’s time to nap. I long for you to nap on my chest like you did when you were brand new but instead I find myself hovering over your cot, watching each breath you take, perfectly still & peacefully dormant. I wait. I wait for your eyes to open again, for you to look around dazed, checking where you’ve woken this time and then fix your sleepy eyes on mine, and smile through your dummy.

I’m still here. I’ll always be there. Waiting for those eyes, your eyes, to meet mine.