So We Finished Breastfeeding

It feels weird to type that... "We finished breastfeeding." I mean, I'm still not entirely convinced we have. It's been a week since David last breastfed but it wasn't a concious decision, more of a 'he hasn't asked and I haven't offered,' situation. But a week is the longest I've not breastfed in the 3.5 years since John was born and it very much seems like David has moved on, thrusting an empty bottle at me as opposed to tugging on my top.

So how do I feel? It's hard to say as I think I'm still very much in denial. I don't know what I expected to be honest. Maybe a, "congratulations on breastfeeding two kids for over 3 years," card or perhaps a, "sorry for your kids growing up and leaving you behind," card would be more appropriate? Either way it feels like the end of an era that is going somewhat unnoticed by everyone but me. Which isn't unreasonable as no one is really aware that we were still breastfeeding; even Iain asked me recently if I still breastfed David as it had become much less frequent and only done whilst settling him for bed, if at all. Even David doesn't seem phased by or to have even noticed the end.

I suppose it was inevitable when I went back to work full time. Most days I'm not there during the day so the opportunity to breastfeed is automatically forfeited. That combined with David now sleeping through most nights and only really having milk before bed, he has less opportunities to even ask to breastfeed. Since the boys started sharing a room we also got into a habit of giving David a little bottle of cows milk on those nights when he doesn't settle after breastfeeding to allow John to get some peace to fall asleep too. And slowly that bottle has taken my place.

I guess I'm glad that David has taken it upon himself to end this journey. John was 3 when he decided he was a 'big boy' and breastfeeding was 'for babies like David,' a conclusion he came to with a bit of encouragement & discussion from myself. I kind of figured David would follow a similar route but this as much as anything shows me just how individual they already are. I've always said I'd like to allow the boys to self-wean and with that you sacrifice a say of your own, whether you too are ready for the end. I guess it was easier with John too as we were tandem breastfeeding, meaning that when he finished it wasn't the end: This time though, there's no more babies, now at least and quite possibly forever.

But it's done. We're finished breastfeeding. Aside from being in denial and a little bit upset at the finality of it, I'm also a little bit relieved. It's been over 4 years now that I've not had my body to myself between pregnancies & breastfeeding; it'll be nice to have that back, regardless of how much I'll miss it. It means I can finally go back on the pill and hopefully once my hormones settle down I can become less reliant on antibiotic treatment for my cystic acne. Plus the addition of under-wired bras to my wardrobe has been welcomed with open arms, even if what they're only holding a shadow of their former selves!





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Tumblr, Sons of Anarchy & Working #littleloves

READ...
I've been getting back into Tumblr this past week. Diddle Diddle Dumpling actually started up on Tumblr away back when and since moving over blogger I kind of lost interest in Tumblr. Recently though I've been back on, addicted once more; endlessly scrolling through and loving having another outlet to reblog photos, ramble nonsense & post things that I wouldn't otherwise share on a parenting blog. My favourite thing about Tumblr though (aside from reading & following all my favourite Tumblr-ers) is the anonymity!

WATCHED...
Sons Of Anarchy! Ive got a bit of an obsession going on. We're into Season 5 now and I'm going to be devastated when we get to the very end. Plus I'm kind of in love with Ryan Hurst (Opie) and I stupidly read spoilers for this season, so I know I'm in for an emotional time!

Otherwise I've been watching a lot of TLC - love me some trash TV, especially Extreme Couponing, Say Yes To The Dress & Breaking Amish.

Oh and John has developed an unhealthy obsession with Topsy & Tim at the moment. From the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed, he's constantly asking for it to be put on.

WORE...
I'm now working full time again, so I'm basically in a cycle of work clothes, pyjamas, work clothes pyjamas... But I actually bought myself some new pyjamas a few weeks back and these Coca Cola ones were just made for me!

A photo posted by Amy Lorimer (@amylorimer) on May 24, 2015 at 2:43pm PDT

HEARD...
"I got bills, I gotta pay!" This has kind of become my theme tune at work with people commenting that it's 'Amy's song' when it comes on the radio. Honestly, I'm not even that fussed for it but whenever it comes on it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day!


MADE...
I did make some enchiladas at the beginning of the week but otherwise I've not made very much. I'm still very much adapting to working full time with two kids (hence the recent radio silence) so I've been relying on Iain to make most of our meals. And any other creative plans have been put in the back burner for now.

AND LASTLY...
Thank you hanging about whilst things have been a bit quiet here lately. These past few weeks I've been coming home & falling asleep on the couch and spending my days off trying to entertain two ever more demanding toddlers & maintain a house in need of some good TLC. I'm starting to get a bit more of a routine, as well as putting together a blogging schedule, so hopefully things will be back to normal service again soon.




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Vlog Stars #2 - A Few of My Favourite Things

Another instalment of Vlog Stars! Who'd have thought I'd keep up a linky for more than one round, especially one that involves vlogging? But I had so much fun doing last months Vlog Stars video that I decided to get involved again this month. I never thought I'd enjoy vlogging as much as I am but I'm really pleased with how this one has turned out.

The topic of this months Vlog Stars is A Few of My Favourite Things. The aim is to name three favourite things from 20 topics in under 3 minutes; I have cheated a little though! And if you do like this video then be sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel & give the video a thumbs up too. But without further adieu, here is my video for June's Vlog Stars!

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The Best Sulphate-free Shampoos

A few weeks back I talked about how I'd ditched the straighteners & started embracing my naturally wavy hair. It's been a learning curve to say the least but the biggest change has been in the products I use (& don't use!) on my tresses. Following the Curly Girl Method means cutting out silicones & sulphates which given that the majority of haircare products are packed with them, isn't so easy.

So why not use sulphates? Well sulphates are designed to break down the silicones in conditioners & strip the hair clean. They're also found in washing up liquid as they're brilliant at breaking down the grease on your pots & pans. In short; sulphates are great at 'cleaning' your hair but they're also great at stripping out all the natural oils that your hair needs to be healthy & grow. So overall, they're not really great at all and in fact they're pretty bad, especially if you have wavy or curly hair as these hair types are naturally in need of extra moisture.

Cut out the sulphates & you have a gentler shampoo. A gentler shampoo means more moisture in the hair. And more moisture in the hair means happier, less fizzy hair all around! So here's my favourite sulphate shampoos, all available in the UK and available to buy on the High Street.

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Body Shop Rainforest Moisture.

First & foremost, this smells divine! It was one of the first sulphate-free shampoos that I used and it remains a firm favourite of mine. I've always been a big fan of the Body Shop, especially their body butters and it makes sense that they'd have an entire range of haircare products free from sulphates & silicones. Like most sulphate free shampoos, the lather is a bit poor in this one but it does the job well. Price wise, it's not the cheapest but for the smell alone it's worth every penny. I'm close to the end of the bottle & will definitely repurchase this one.

Dr. Organic Moroccan Argan Oil Shampoo.

This was a shampoo I picked up on a whim, looking for something to make the buy one get one half price offer worthwhile. I'm already addicted to Pure Argan Oil, using it as my daily facial moisturiser & in my hair also, so it made sense that I try an argan oil shampoo. I can't fault this shampoo in terms of doing the job but the smell isn't the best - not bad, just not as nice as the other. That being said, it does make up for it in goodness, packed with good ingredients like Orange, Clove, Geranium, Lemon, Cinnamon, Rosewood, Mandarin, Vanilla & Spearmint. I probably won't buy this one again but I'd happily try another shampoo from the Dr. Organic range, after an initial sniff test!

Palmers Shea Formula Moisture Repair Curl Shampoo.

My new favourite shampoo! I ordered this as part of a review and instantly fell in love with it from the first wash. The lather is as you'd expect from a sulphate-free shampoo but this one leaves my hair feelings hydrated & moisturised whilst also cleaning it nicely in the process. The bottle is great too & I love the pump dispenser. Fragrance wise, it's still not as nice at the Body Shop shampoo but it isn't too bad at all.

Naked Smooth Marshmallow & Aloe Silky Shampoo.

Out of all the sulphate-free shampoos I've tried, this one has the most lather; which can be great after a deep conditioning treatment or when I think my scalp needs a thorough clean but I find it a little too drying for daily use. It does smell lovely though and would be a great transitioning shampoo for a sulphate-free shampoo virgin. Best of all you can pick it up in Savers right now for a only £1!

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You can read about my decision to Ditch the Straighteners & Embrace Natural Waves here.
And I'll be sharing my favourite Silicone-free Conditioners next week!

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Linking up with Vlog Stars!

So at the beginning of 2015 I wrote about New Years Resolutions and how I wanted to get into vlogging this year. And given this is the first time I've really done a vlog this year, it's safe to say that so far I've failed miserably. That being said, I'm growing ever fonder of watching vlogs and have been feeling inspired to give it a go again but have never really known what to do one on.

When I read about Amy from Mr & Mrs T Plus Three and Aby from You Baby Me Mummy plans to start a new linky, prompting bloggers to get their Vlog on, I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to press record. So without further adu, here's my first instalment of Vlog Stars!

You can also subscribe to our Youtube Channel to keep up to date with all our future vlogs!

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So When's The Big Day?

For those who missed it, Iain finally put a ring on it on Christmas day last year. And since then we've been bombarded with questions of when the big day will be. For anyone who knows me 'in real life', you'll know I've had my wedding planned since I was about 10 years old. So when it was made official that there will in fact be a wedding with Iain & I, it was understandable to assume I'd already be booking venues, making invites & trying on dresses.

But no. We've not set an estimate date yet. Nor looked at venues other than online (although we do like the look of Carberry Tower, Winton House & Fenton Tower). We haven't even started figuring out our guest list. In truth, we're in no hurry. Iain & I have been together 7 years now and I can see a wedding taking just as long to come about, for one simple reason. Money. With having two kids & bills to pay, the disposable income available to save for a wedding simply isn't massive. Chuck in a bit of debt that I'm still paying off and that not-so massive amount suddenly reduces to zero. Sure, I could start paying the minimum on my credit card to allow some extra cash in the saving account but where's the sense in that?

For now, my wedding planning will stay firmly in my head until my bank balance allows. Even then it'll take a few years to save for what I've got in mind! And don't worry, I'll be sure to share my planning along the way (obvs) but in the mean time you'll find me endlessly pinning anything wedding-ish that catches my eye.

Follow Amy Lorimer's board Dream Wedding. on Pinterest.

 


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Embracing Natural Waves

My hair and I have had a pretty rubbish relationship in the past. From the moment I discovered hair straighteners in my early teenage years, I used them religiously, aiming for that perfectly straight Avril Lavigne look. Then the hair dye abuse started... Pink, black, blue, bleached blonde, green (by accident...), raccoon stripes, red; I've had them all, even achieving Most Frequently Changing Hair in our school yearbook! It wasn't until I was closer to 18 that I actually decided to start treating my hair with a little bit of love but the years of damage took some time for any kind of recovery to happen.

Despite my hair being much healthier than it was in High School, I was still never really happy with it. I'd grow it, cut it, grow it, cut it, never really finding the style I wanted. I'd had every colour & style you could imagine (hello, liberty spikes!) but the one look I'd longed for was the natural one. To be able to wash my hair and leave it - knowing it wouldn't turn into a ball of frizz or resemble a birds nest - was something I'd dreamt of. I'd tried a couple of times to embrace my natural waves but found that I'd quickly get impatient with the frizz & unpredictable nature of it and end up reaching to the straighteners once more. I even considered a perm for a short while thinking it might give me some more hold to my hair!

Then kids came along. I was still going through the grow it, cut it phase, opting to keep it long enough to tie back and reducing washing & straightening to just a couple of times a week (due to necessity more than anything else). But when the prospect of returning to work after having David rolled around, the idea of getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning to singe my hair into place, with two kids clinging to a leg each, just seemed like a complete nightmare. There had to be a better way to achieve nice hair with minimum effort... Google led me to discover the Curly Girl Method. And let me tell you, it's changed my hair for the better, in so many ways! There's not much to it really but when you're in the realms of 'normal' hair habits, it can all sound quite foreign and ridiculous. Let me break it down for you...

The Curly Girl Method is all about letting your hair be, cutting out the products that create a vicious cycle and embracing & loving your curls. Let's start with conditioner. Pretty much very conditioner you buy in the UK will contain silicones, which if you've never really thought about what's in your conditioner before you're probably not aware of, nor particularly care; I know I never! Turns out silicones aren't great for your hair. What they do is create a plastic tubing around the hair strand meaning any moisture (which your hair is likely to be lacking in if your a heat & dye abuser like I was) is kept in but it also means no more can get in either because silicones aren't water soluble. So who's do you get silicones out your hair? That's where your shampoo comes into play!

Like conditioners, shampoo isn't too great for your hair either. Because your conditioner is packed with silicones, your shampoo needs to be packed with sulphates (the ingredient that makes your shampoo bubbly) to break the silicones down and prevent them building up. Unfortunately, sulphates will also take any natural oils from your hair in the process too. In fact, check your shampoo against your dish liquid - you'll find he ingredients are spookily similar, yet you wouldn't buy fairy to wash your hair with! So begins the vicious cycle of silicones & sulphates.

So what's the solution? Simple - cut out silicones & sulphates! But with very few products on the UK market offering silicones & sulphate hair products, it's a bit tricky. There are a few sulphate-free shampoos [sometimes referred to as "low-poo"] out there or the other popular option is to wash with a silicone-free conditioner [often called "co-washing"]. Anyone I ever mention co-washing to inevitably ends up picking their jaw off the floor because the idea of washing your hair with conditioner conjures up images of greasy, build-up covered hair, however with using silicone-free conditioner this isn't that case at all. Because the conditioner you use contains only water-soluble ingredients, there's no build up and it does the job of your shampoo without stripping your hair from its own natural goodness, although a little more elbow grease is needed due to the lack of bubbles; that being said, massaging the conditioner into the scalp to lift any dirt is great for encouraging hair growth!

I'm currently using a variety of low-poo shampoos as because my hair is more wavy than curly, I find this suits me better (co-washing tends to weigh my hair down a bit as it doesn't need the same amount of moisture as someone with tighter curls). I've also found a great selection of conditioners and styling products since starting the Curly Girl Method that work for me too and they're all available on the UK High Street. Best of all, I've only had straighteners touch my tresses once in the past 10 months! I'm most definitely a convert to my natural hairstyle now.

I'm going to be sharing my favourite low-poo shampoos, silicone-free conditioners & Curly Girl friendly styling products with you all over the coming weeks, as well as some tips & tricks I've learnt along the way. So if you've any questions about the Curly Girl Method or how I care for my hair in general, I'd love to know! Just leave a comment & I'll do my best to answer all of them along the way.

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Calm, Quiet & Portobello #BetterPlaces

My first memory of being at Portobello beach still makes me laugh when I think back to it. It was summer 2008 and having met Iain just a few weeks prior, he decided to take me on 'date' to the beach, to visit the arcades, have chips on the Promenade and relax on the beach (which quickly turned into going to the Swimming Pool as the beach wasn't as warm as we'd first hoped). At the time, Iain lived in a lovely little flat just a stones throw away from Portobello beach & it's Promenade and little did I know that a few years later, after he'd moved out of there to our first home closer to the city centre, that we'd end up back in that very flat expecting our first baby.

It's now been 3 & a half years that we've lived in Edinburgh's Seaside and during that time I've fallen head over heels for all Portobello beach & the Promenade has to offer. Back when I was counting down the days until John was born, I'd walk the length of the Prom hoping to bring on labour, thinking about how lovely it'd be to walk the route with my baby in tow. And just weeks later I was back into that routine, now pushing a buggy with a bundled up newborn, whatever the weather! In the summer, Portobello beach may be mobbed but it's still the perfect place to relax and escape the bustle of the city, with ice cream and fish & chips on offer, with the choice to sit on the sand, one of hundreds of benches, or my favourite, the beach wall. It's our favourite way to end an otherwise busy summers day.

Regardless of the weather, the two parks located right of the Prom are also a lifesaver as far as I'm concerned. Perfect for the days when the boys are being pests and we need to get out the house. Both parks are fenced in making them ideal for John (& now David!) to burn of energy whilst I have two minutes seconds respite. On days when the swings & slide are soaked, it's not game over as we've still got Tumbles, the arcade & Portobello Swimming Pool to choose from too. As for those days where I wake up and can tell straight away that we're destined for disaster, it's coats on and straight to Crumbs for breakfast. It's been a little cold for this recently but I can't wait until Spring when the mornings, when the pavements are a little less frosty - I can almost hear the mini cinnamon sugar donuts & marshmallow crepes calling!

More recently though, Portobello beach has become my escape, my place that I quite literally run away to. On the days when the boys have been anything but angels, when everything has gotten on top of me and my head feels ready to pop, it's trainers on & off I go. Before starting running last year, I'd often go for walks along the Prom, especially in the evenings when it's only runners, cyclists & dog walkers to keep you company, and aside from the occasional daft dog jumping in your way, it's the perfect way to be alone with just your thoughts. Now though, it's headphones in & one foot in front of the other. I love nothing more than running past the arcade, lit up in all its glory, right past the Victoria-esque pool & into Joppa. Then it's back again, past the new seafront apartments, along the way of the stoney beach & to the Seafield end of the Prom. My legs may ache & I may feel my pulse in my ears by the end, but one things for sure, I feel a million percent calmer and those little things I was wound up about no longer matter.

This #BetterPlaces post is in support of the Syndol Find Your Better Place campaign with BritMums. Syndol is now formulated for headaches. Visit www.syndol.co.uk for online resources with information about headaches and how to restore calm in your life.

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Aqua Spinning

Let's skip straight to the TMI... I really need to work on my pelvic floor! If there's one thing that Aqua Spinning taught me it's that riding a bike, in water no less, after having two kids is an interesting experience! I was invited along to the Aqua Spinning class at Edinburgh's Commie Pool by Joe Blogs who had teamed up with Simply Health to share with blogger the benefits of this unique new fitness class. I had no idea what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised!

At the turn of the year I talked about wanting to get fit again after stopping running when I went back to work and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to get my bum into gear. So what is Aqua Spinning? Well it's exactly what you think it is! You are literally on a spinning bike, in the water. If you've ever done a spinning class before, don't be put off (I know, they're a truly awful experience!) as spinning in the water, despite burning more calories, is much easier; apparently this is down to the buoyancy & low gravity effect. Despite this, Aqua Spinning can also burn up to 800 calories in an hour. YES, 800 CALORIES! If that isn't good enough for you, being in the water also means you don't get the same inability to walk muscle ache you'd expect from your average spinning class.

So basically Aqua Spinning rocks the socks of health benefits. But how does it work? When you arrive at Aqua Spinning the bikes aren't actually in the water. In fact, the pool itself is raised! You grab you special shoes, set up your bike to both your height & resistance level, then off you jump, the pool is lowered and your bike disappears! In terms of depth, the pool is lowered to accommodate the smallest person in the class, which lets face it, at 5'11" it's never going to be me! That being said, it's more of a case of making sure no one is under water & having a fear of being stuck under water, that suits me just fine!

So my opinion? It was amazing fun! Perhaps it was because I was surrounded with like minded bloggers, or because the instructor Fiona, insisted we all smiled throughout. Either way I really enjoyed Aqua Spinning. It took a wee while to get the hang of it, from the simple cycling, to the hands free splashing about whilst trying to get as fast as you can, I can honestly say my smile was actually a genuine one and not forced because Fiona was telling us we had to or she'd make us go even faster for even longer! One thing I'd need a little more practice with though is the whole coming off the seat, keeping feet in the pedals, and cycling the bike from behind; my fear of going under the water stopped me from participating it that part!

I was so impressed with the entire Aqua Spinning experience that I even enquired about going back for more. The Royal Common Wealth Pool is one of few pools in the UK offering Aqua Spinning (or 'Hydrospin' as they call it) and like with many fitness classes, timings are difficult with children & an other half who works back shift. That being said, if I could just get my head around exercising before 7am, the Thursday morning class may be ideal before starting work at 8.30am. Plus, anything that reminds me to do my pelvic floor exercises had to be a good thing, right?

To find out more about the health benefits of Aqua Spinning, head on over to Simply Health who have put together a good wee rundown of why Aqua Spinning is so good for you. Big thanks to Jo Blogs for another fun event here in Scotland, particularly in Edinburgh!

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Radio Silence

It's been quiet here lately but life has been anything but. Between various goings on in 'real life' and problems with our internet, I feel this little place has been quite neglected as of late. And it's driving me bonkers! I have so much to write about, so many post ideas both spinning around my head & already pre-written on my iPad, ready to post, but finding a minute to do so (as well as a wi-fi source!) has been proving difficult. I've had so many things I want to work on, from the blog layout to our About page, as well as getting back into the swing of social media.

Thankfully, we're changing internet providers in March so hopefully things will be back on schedule come then. And not a minute too early, as I'm itching to get out in the near-approaching Spring days & get back into the swing of photographing these two wee monkeys I call my sons! But a full update on them will follow shortly.

Thanks for hanging about! Lots of nice new posts on running, escaping, first words & even a giveaway will be live in a matter of days.



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Room Sharing with Two Toddlers (& Getting Them to Stay In Bed!)

I love our little house. Little being the prominent word. Because it's small. Very small. And over the past 3 years it seems to have shrunk dramatically! In actual fact, it's not that small, it's actually a pretty decent size but with two kids and a whole lot of toys it usually feels like we've just not enough space. That being said, we still only have two bedrooms. They're by no means small rooms and the boys room can easily house two beds & all their toys, which it has been doing for the past year or so, despite only one boy actually sleeping in there.

John was always reluctant to move out of his cot. Up until a few months ago, he was still in his cot (eventually with one side off) with a big cosy single bed awaiting his change of opinion. It never came. So just after a Christmas, once we were back into the routine of life, I made a snap decision that that would be the night; the night that John went into the single bed & David was served his eviction from our room. The side went back on the cot, the Fireman Sam bed sheets went on the single bed and David's cot in our room was dismantled. And that was that.

I looked at the two beds side by side and thought, "what was I thinking?" A thought that crossed my mind for the first few days of two toddlers room sharing. Here's how we got through those first awful stressful horrendous pleasegoddontputyourselfthoughit challenging days...

Day One.
Who's stupid idea was this? Maybe if I sell a kidney we could move to a three bedroom house...? David goes down no issues. John on the other hand is in the mood for a fight. 20 minutes in and he's woken David up with his nonsense. I now have two toddlers screaming at me and John getting out his bed every time I close the bedroom door, For an hour and half. It gets worse when Iain comes home and both boys scream for Daddy. I give in and end up sitting with them, stroking their tummies until the fall asleep. An hour & a half it took in total but they're both are asleep. We'll try again tomorrow.

Day Two.
Bath is a farce as we've no hot water - cue two boys fussing & after the stress of the night before, I'm dreading bedtime. David is not for settling. I stagger bedtime again, giving David 20 minutes to settle before taking John through. David doesn't settle though and is still wide awake when John goes to bed. It takes 45 minutes of John getting out of bed & David standing up in his cot before they fall asleep. Between putting John back in his bed, I Google for help & come across this post by Alpha Mom - time to chill the F out and get on with it. I can do what I can to get them into bed but I can't make them sleep. I choose to carry on putting John in bed, as there's no way he'll sleep anywhere else - he's never been one to crash out on the floor. He eventually lays down in bed and starts to dose off but David is still fighting it, so I give in and settle him with more boob. Less time & less stress. Let's hope it's better tomorrow.

Day Three.
Our previous bedtime routine isn't working. Usually I'd settle David then chill out with John in his room before he goes to bed, which obviously isn't possible if David's now asleep in the same room. So now it's bath, pyjamas & story in the bedroom, settle David whilst John watches In The Night Garden, join John for a cuddle, then bed for John. The new routine goes smoothly; David settles quite quickly & John happily goes to bed too. It's only 20 minutes of taking John back to bed & David stays asleep the whole time. Progress!

Day Four.
David falls & hurts himself right before bath so the new routine goes out the window after he screams the house down. Settle David without any story or quiet time and enjoy In The Night Garden with John. Take John through & Davids fast asleep. 10 minutes of taking John back to bed, with him asking me to sit with him each time, and it seems like he's asleep. 10 minutes later he's through again asking me to sit with him and whilst taking him back through, David wakes up. Resort to sitting with them both until they're asleep, which takes all of 3 minutes. Not ideal but still the quickest, least stressful night yet.

Day Five.
No way. David settles instantly. Take John through and after a cuddle, I nip out. He comes out his bed twice and then it's silent. He's asleep. Must be a fluke. He's just kidding me. He'll be through any minute now. But nothing. He's actually asleep. They both are!

Day Six was John's birthday when we had his Fireman Birthday Party, so that night went a bit to pot, with David going to bed a little later than normal but with no issues, and John passing out on the sofa. We started up again as normal the next day and if memory serves me right, there was a small battle of taking John back to bed but things went well otherwise. And they have done since.

It's still very much a learning process for all of us. It's definitely easier if David is asleep before John goes through, so now we've taken to waiting until he's out for the count before taking John in. John's now well aware that he needs to be quiet when he goes into bed, even tip-toeing across the room! We've had a few nights where he's not come out at all but generally he'll come through at least a few times, where I'll try to calmly take him back, tuck him in & walk back out again. For the most part it works but it's definitely easier when Daddy isn't there and at only 3 years old, John already knows how to play us against each other. And thankfully, despite David still waking through the night, John sleep through it; in fact, John is now even sleeping through without coming through to our bed like he used to. David's snoring must be easier to live with than their Daddy's...

Do your kids room share? How do you find it?

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Cystic Acne... An Update

Last summer I wrote about my battle with cystic acne. Ever since being pregnant with John it seemed my hormones had gone haywire, particularly in regards to my skin. I just lived with it for 3 years, expecting it would get better eventually. It never did. In fact, when I wrote about it earlier this year, it was the worst it had ever been, with 5+ painful, swollen lumps on my face at any given time. Not only were they horrible to look at & incredibly painful, they also affected my confidence more than you could imagine.

It was time for change. Three years of hiding my face away, avoiding baby groups dreading family gatherings & only going places we needed to day to day (with a fringe & scarf in tow) had to end. I'd tried all the solutions & remedies you could think of; tea tree oil, apple cider vinegar, breast milk, any lotion or potion that claimed to clear skin... I then took myself off to the doctors with little hope of a solution due to still breastfeeding & knowing there was few treatments available due to this.

Thankfully the doctor I met was fantastic & very understanding. She prescribed two creams for me to try: Acnecide & Stiemycin and advised me to try them for 6 weeks then come back if there was no improvement. Not expecting much, I was pleasantly surprised when I found many of the awful cysts were slowly clearing up with no more rearing their ugly heads. However after the 6 weeks I still had many existing cysts and booked a return appointment for a couple of weeks later.

Once again my doctor was extremely helpful & suggested trying a oral antibiotic this time. I was apprehensive at first, wondering if I'd be reliant on them for the rest of my life. She reassured me that my acne did appear to be purely hormonal, given that before babies I would only get one cyst, once a month, and because if this, once we finished breastfeeding there's no reason why things wouldn't return to normal, and at that stage we could also try a contraceptive pill to help too.

With a prescription for Erythromycin, I set off hopeful that one day my face wouldn't resemble the Rocky Mountains. Within days of starting the antibiotics - alongside continuing the Acnecide & Stiemycin - my period also [coincidentally] returned, which could well contribute to the great results I had from these magic little pills. Within a few weeks of taking the antibiotics & my face calming down with a more normal hormone routine, the cysts had gone(!!). I kept thinking it was a fluke, a case of shock to my skin, that they'd be back once my body got used to the antibiotics... But 4 months on and my skin is still 100% cyst free. Not only that but blackheads are minimal and I've only had a handful of whiteheads too.

One thing that is still stubborn though is the scarring. The thing about cystic acne us that it's lingering. Once the cysts have gone, you're still left with a juicy big scar which hangs around for months. It's not something that antibiotics will cure, in fact, I think the only thing that would help other than time is a dermatologist - which I don't have a spare £150 to see - is time. So time it is. I have re-hauled my products though, wanting something more natural given I was using a cocktail of medicines directly onto my skin as it was. Right now I'm using the St Ives Daily Microdermabrasion Scrub to help keep my skin clean & polished (hopefully helping with the scarring in the process) alongside Pure Argan Oil, which I'd originally bought for my hair but love so much I use it on my face everyday, on top of the Stiemycin. I'll often slather some coconut oil over my chops too before bed if I'm in need of a bit more moisture.

Future wise, over Christmas I became rubbish at taking my Erythromycin antibiotics (mainly because you're meant to take them on an empty stomach - at Christmas...c'mon!) and I've been pleasantly surprised to find I've not broken out in hundreds of cysts. In fact, my face is still looking rather lovely! I'm considering ditching the Erythromycin all together and just sticking with the Stiemycin and seeing how we go. I've also stopped the Acnecide recently as I was getting fed up with bleached towels & t-shirts but given that it's designed to help with blackheads & whiteheads (which I never had many of) so I've not seen a difference following this.

What I will say though is if you too are suffering with cystic acne and finding that nothing is helping, go see your doctor. I was so reluctant to see mine, expecting a, "sorry there's nothing we can do," but after 3 years of damaging my confidence, I've never felt so comfortable in my own skin. I even wear makeup again now which I never would before as I felt it highlighted my spots as opposed to hiding them. I do regret not seeking advice before as I think I could have probably enjoyed baby groups & such a lot more if I hadn't been so self-conscious about my face but it's time now to make up for lost time.

Had a lovely birthday with my two boys in the sunshine. We fed the ducks, had a picnic, ate ice cream sundaes & walked the length of the Prom. And John kept saying, "happy birthday, Mummy." 😊❤️ Such a sweetie. In other news, I'm off to the doctors about my skin on Friday. It's gotten ridiculous & majorly depressing. Although I'm pretty certain they're going to say there's nothing they can do as long as I'm breastfeeding. 😞👎 Fingers crossed though.

A photo posted by Amy Lorimer (@amylorimer) on Jul 22, 2014 at 1:30pm PDT

A photo posted by Amy Lorimer (@amylorimer) on Jan 31, 2015 at 3:24am PST

Shame my eye bags haven't improved though!

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So, How Are We?

Exhausted. Bloody exhausted. We've hit a tough age, with both boys. John's mastered communicating with the world & now spends 24/7 asking questions. David is so close to walking & so frustrated at not yet being there. And the thing with both boys is, they literally go from zero to 100mph from the moment they wake up, until the moment they're back asleep again. No pausing, no down time, heck, John doesn't even nap any more!

As well as being little whirlwinds tornadoes, both boys are also going through extremely clingy phases. I can't get up to walk out a room without David having a full blown meltdown and I can't sit on the couch for more than 2 seconds without John climbing on me, insisting I cuddle him & do not move. Any time I try & shower I'm haunted by screams and the fear that they will in fact kick the door down (try explaining that one to the landlord!), it's the same should I dare try and pee solo.

I know, I know... I'd be moaning if it was the other way around, if they didn't want cuddles or to be close to their Mummy. But shit, it's hard work. One clingy child is tough, two constantly attached to your leg, screaming should you mutter the words, "just one minute," well it's unbearable a times. And I feel rotten for feeling like that. But I'm just so bloody exhausted. I long for bedtime. I long for 5 minutes to sit and breathe, without being asked to name every character of Fireman Sam, without being bitten or snotted on...

I get that this comes across as ungrateful. I know there's people out there will think I'm being selfish and should appreciate what I have. And I do. I really, really do. But that doesn't make the 4th wake up of the night any easier. It doesn't stop the stress of a nearly 3 year old out screeching in the supermarket because he can't have a sweetie. And it doesn't help with the guilt of knowing I shouted too much today, or that I know I'll be asking if it's bedtime before lunchtime tomorrow.

Obviously, I know this is just a phase. That soon John will be rushing off to ask other people 21 questions, that soon David will be walking & it'll be in the direction away from me. And I know the sleepless night will end one day (please be sooner rather than later!). Until then, expect a loud sigh and "bloody exhausted" when you ask how we are.



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A Christmas Miracle

On Christmas morning, after opening our presents from Santa as a family, Iain asked me to marry him. Nearly seven years & two kids later, we've finally gone from boyfriend & girlfriend to fiancé. Now, bets on how long the engagemt will be? 10...15...years...? I kid!

My ring is a beautiful rose gold band with a opal & two wee diamonds. Opal because they're my favourite (I wear opal ear plugs daily) & it's also Iain's birthstone. He got it spot on, apart from the size, as its a little too big - nothing that a bit of resizing won't fix though!

It won't actually be anytime soon for the big day but until then, I will be pinning wedding inspiration over on Pinterest until my hearts content!

Happy Christmas, Instagram! Look what I got today 😁💍

A photo posted by Amy Lorimer (@amylorimer) on Dec 12, 2014 at 12:48pm PST

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What Does a Mum Want For Christmas?

Yankee Candle // Black Toms // Sugar Crush Body Wash // Tapered Trousers

iPad // Aldo Reay Handbag // Naked 3 Palette 

Aside from two kids that sleep through the night, these will do nicely! This is really just a wishlist. I know the likelihood of getting anything is slim (getting old sucks in that sense) but then I can choose to take comfort in the mindset of, "that's not what Christmas is really about." Plus when it comes to having kids, any gifts you do get are claimed by them as, "mine!" anyway so it doesn't really matter!

This year I've gone a bit mad for candles but I'm still really struggling to find the perfect Christmas scent & I think the Red Apple Wreath may just be the one to do the job. Shoe wise, I'm in love with TOMS but always wear them to death and now it's time for a [another] new pair. And what's Christmas without some smelly bathtime gifts? Clothes is another thing I seem to wear to death before updating, & these Tapered Trousers from Next would be the perfect replacement to my thread-bare harem trousers.

The iPad is purely a dream gift and one that's not likely to appear under the tree, unless Santa feels I've been particularly good this year! A bag because I actually don't have a handbag at present and instead I'm making do with a rucksack & toddler bags. Finally, some new eyeshadow, mainly because I only have huge kits that don't fit in my makeup bag and this one is the perfect combination of colours.

What's on your list to Santa this year?

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We Made a Video!

I've been wanting to film a vlog for a while now. For one reason another, I've kept putting it off. Last week though, we bit the bullet and did it. Nothing overly exciting, I'm afraid! To kick us off in what will hopefully be a good relationship with vlogging, we did the YouTube Mum Tag.

I'm more confident in my video editing skills than my actual being in a video but hey ho. We also missed out question 10, which I did realise until putting the video together... But such is life. Anyway, have a watch, tell us what you think (please be kind!) and if you do like it you can give it a YouTube thumbs up, subscribe to our channel and even give me some suggestions for another video in the comments!

Diddle Diddle Dumpling on YouTube.

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Life Lately

We seem to have taken an unscheduled hiatus this past week or so. That's the thing about life, sometimes it catches up with you! We're still very much adapting to life back at work, with two at nursery and Iain's shifts at work being all over the place for the time being. Then there was the bout of Hand, Foot & Mouth, David's top 4 teeth breaking through all at once, John having a tough couple of weeks and then me getting food poisoning too. Fun times, really!

When family life isn't going as sweetly & picturesque as you would hope, it's time to take a step back from the computer screen & enjoy the [few] good moments as they happen. And that's exactly what we've been doing! The house may be a state and we don't have many clean clothes left, but these are things that will still need done in 20 years from now, when both boys are grown up & no longer in need of sofa cuddles and trips to the park. And as much as a love blogging, sometimes that needs to take a backseat as well, to make way for those cuddles & days out...

Both boys are in good health for the time being, 4 new teeth are officially broken through, John is back to his cheery self & I'm currently not poisoned! So stay tuned for some new posts in the next few weeks, including more from Diddle Diddle Dumpling's Home Made Christmas, our first ever vlog and even David's 1st Birthday in a little less than a month! (Boohoo!)

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