On Kirstie Allsopp.

The media has been going mad over Kristie Allsopp this week. If you aren't aware, I urge you to actually read the interview in which she's been slandered over - because as always, a lot of what's been said has been taken out of context.

“I don’t have a girl, but if I did I’d be saying 'Darling, do you know what? Don’t go to university. Start work straight after school, stay at home, save up your deposit – I’ll help you, let’s get you into a flat. And then we can find you a nice boyfriend and you can have a baby by the time you’re 27.” - Kirstie Allsopp.

Now, for my thoughts on the matter. Kirstie Allsopp; if I didn't love you already (which I did anyway) I do now!

Over the years, I've had many amazing plans for life-long careers - from optometry to tattooist, from animator to firefighter, from seamstress to midwife...and everything in between! There was always one thing that remained throughout all these dreams and that was to be a mother. I always knew that whether I was tattooing people for a living or becoming the next Walt Disney, that I'd always have children to come home to. Family has always been a hugely important part of my life and I've always been the mothering type ("hello, little baby bird that's fallen out the nest, do you want to come home with me?") so even when I left school with no idea where life would take me, I knew I'd have kids within a matter of years. In fact, my life plan was to be married by 22 and have two kids by 25. The marriage is unfortunately out of my hands but the kids have happened as I'd always imagined.

Iain and I had been together for 2 years when the topic of kids first came up. I'd already had the realisation that this was the man I wanted to be the father of my children but I knew it wasn't something on the agenda just yet. It was when Iain became an Uncle that we first started talking about starting a family. I was a couple of months off turning 20 and we said it'd be something we'd consider a few months down the line as thanks to stereotypes, I didn't want to be what society saw a stereotypical 'teen-Mum'. I was 20 when we found out I was pregnant with John & 21 by the time he was born. Biologically speaking, I was the perfect age to have babies. Given this, Kirstie is completely justified in her opinion on when 'best' to start a family.

Of course, not everyone is emotionally ready, nor in the situation to allow them to start a family in their early 20s, but if they are and they know that it's what they want (as I did) then it's surely within their biological interest to consider starting a family sooner rather than later? Even at 20, I remember being devastated those first months we tried (& failed) for a baby, already wondering if there was something wrong with my fertility. We only waited for two months before managing to actually conceive John and that was heart-breaking enough. I can't even begin to imagine how heart-wrenching it must be to suffer real fertility issues, of which age is a main culprit. Why should society dictate when we should start a family, purely based on age & the right order of how to live your life?

"Some of the greatest pain that I have seen among friends is the struggle to have a child. It wasn’t all people who couldn’t start early enough because they hadn’t met the right person." - Kirstie Allsopp.

Then there's the university side of things. Oh uni, how we have a bad relationship. I've never been to university. I never wanted to go to university. Which when you are in a High School where the only option they can see for anyone after graduating is to go to university, can be pretty frustrating. Careers advisor's, teachers & fellow students...all making out like you'll have no life if you don't go, which can do great things in making you hate universities.

I left school with little qualifications. I hated school for various reasons, resulting in a bit of self-sabotage, and could not have been happier when it was all over. The last thing I wanted to do was continue sitting in a classroom for another 4 years just for, as Kirstie oh-so-perfectly put it, "the 'experience'". I can 100% understand wanting to go to university when you know what career or even what area you want to work in, but to go because it's 'the thing to do' just makes no sense to me. Why waste 4 years of your life getting into debt for a 'experience'? As far as I can see, university is there for learning, for laying the paves to a lifelong career. Of course, things don't always go to plan, but instead of being pressured & pushed into going to university because society says it's the thing to do, why aren't teenagers being told to jump straight into the working world? To make a life for themselves before deciding what they want to do for the rest of their lives? Why are we so set on the 'school, university, career, married, house then kids' rigmarole? Especially when in the big picture, kids are only an option for a short time.

"If everyone started having children when they were 20, they’d be free as a bird by the time they were 45. But how many 45-year-olds do you know who are bogged down?" - Kirstie Allsopp.

For me, it made more sense to skip university or college & studying something I only half cared about, just for the the 'experience' and to end up in thousands of pounds worth of debt for the pleasure. Instead, at 18 I started working full time, I moved out of my parents & started living my own life, having my own 'experience'. And I'll tell you what - it's paid off. Every year a new person starts at my work; someone who has just graduated after studying for 4 years, yet here they are - doing the same job as me, although earning less due to not having the same experience, and often back at home living with their parents or at least in considerable debt. What I'm trying to say is, by all means go to university if it's going to lead you where you want to be. However, if you don't know what you want and/or are just going for the 'experience' why not skip the university bit and have your own experience without having to worry about lectures, exams & debt?

Whilst all my school peers were spending 4 years of their life on a £20,000 education (...or experience...), I chose to start living independently, working full time & raising my first child. And sure, I do have my own debts, we're not married (yet...) and our home is rented. But you know the best bit? I'm 23. Both my kids will be in school before I'm even 30. There's still so much time for me to decide whether sewing or fighting fires is what I'm best at. And by that time, I'll have my family to support me, I'll have a secure home, & a job that pays. I can save for university in advance, thus avoiding the unnecessary debt that goes hand in hand. Then there's the life experience - as isn't that what employers go in favour of when selecting canidates for careers these days? It's a win-win, no?

So, Kirstie Allsopp, I raise my glass to you. Not everything in life should be about university & careers. And I praise you for bringing this point to the world's attention. Isn't it time we came to realise that skipping that in favour of kids doesn't mean your life is over? In fact, my life has only just begun.

Thanks for reading,