I think I was pretty naive before becoming a Mum. Things like breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, co-sleeping vs. using a cot & immunising vs. not immunising were things that never crossed my mind. So when John was placed onto my chest at a totty 6lbs 12oz, I suddenly had a lot to learn. We quickly chose breastfeeding, followed by co-sleeping and the topic of immunisation soon followed.
Just like the choice to breastfeed, co-sleep & pretty much every decision we made as new parents, I researched immunisations to death. In the end, we chose with no doubt at all that immunisations were the right thing to do. Having read countless articles & studies, it was clear that the argument for immunising was far stronger than the one not to. And that was that.
Nearly a year ago to the day, my feeling towards immunisations took to a whole new level. After a restless night & emotionally exhausting morning, at 3 week old David was rushed too & admitted to The Royal Hospital for Sick Children. At only 3 weeks old, my tiny little newborn having not yet had any immunisations, my instant fear was meningitis. What followed was a week of lumber punctures, replacing numerous IVs, blood tests, ultrasounds of all major organs, x-rays of a distraught baby, precautionary anti-biotics, feeding tubes and a insane lack of sleep on both our parts. Nurses staying by his cot all through the night, patting him with cool cloths in a feeble attempt to bring his temperature down. Looking back, it's still a time I've never really dealt with. It's one of those times that I've kind of buried in my subconscious memory. I've always tried to avoid thinking about the worst case scenario.
Thankfully, what could have been something devastating, was 'just' a nasty virus that David got through, thanks to the help & care of fantastic staff at the Sick Kids. But what if David was a few month older? What if it had been whooping cough? Or a nasty case of rotavirus? What if it was meningitis or septicaemia? What if we didn't choose to immunise our kids against something that is so easily preventable and they then became so ill that they needed lumber punctures, IVs, bloodtests, ultrasounds, x-rays...? How could I ever live with the guilt of putting them through that? How could I ever forgive myself if something happened to my kids?
Even though David being ill at only 3 weeks old was something completely out of my hands, I still carry a bucket load of guilt for letting it happen. As a mother, it's your job, your instinct to protect your kids. When a doctor tells you that you can't feed, hold or even touch your baby as the virus they have causes their nerves to go in over-drive and even the comforting touch of their own mother is painful, your heart shatters into a million pieces. Then, a year on, when your baby that resembles a toddler is not yet walking, you still question if it is because of them being so ill when they were just weeks old. And when they are up at 3am with a fever, you find your body freeze with panic at the thought of their temperature climbing over 40°c.
So on Friday, David had his MMR jag, as well as his other 13 months boosters. Having a baby, a child, being so ill never leaves you. You feel guilt when it's even out of your hands and I can't begin to comprehend how it would be if it was due to something so easily preventable. At least, that's why I will always immunise our kids.
I'm all for immunisations and wonder why some people are so against them. The alternative doesn't bare thinking about x
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely for immunisation - I can't understand why anyone would choose not to protect their child against a preventable illness. I also think you have a moral responsibility to vaccinate as it not only protects your child but the community as a whole. It must have been awful David being so ill when he was so young, Toby seems to have had constant colds and viruses since he started nursery and that's bad enough! And he didn't start walking until he was 15 months, I know it's a cliche but they really do do things in their own time :)
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